In conversations over the last few days, the topic of transitions came up: loss of life, divorce, kids leaving home, other major events. How do we move through these changes? How do we go from the familiar and predictable to the uncertainty that these major changes pose, where emotions can be so strong? And as fellow travelers who are also having had these experiences, how can we support one another to successfully move through these challenging times?
For many, shock, bewilderment, sorrow, and upheaval from these life events can be debilitating and put everything of our lives into question. During these painful experiences we can feel ungrounded, impacting our sense of safety, identity, relationships, wellbeing, and life trajectory. And then there is another part of us doing all it knows to manage and stabilize, to adjust to the new reality. In it we can experience disconnection, failure, uncertainty, to name just a few of the thoughts and feelings…all signals of distress and the impulse to mobilize our inner and outer resources to move beyond the pain of our current circumstance. Sometimes we do this well and sometimes not…
In my own experience of divorce, for example, I felt as though my entire life was being ripped away from me. And yet, it was in this humbling experience that I allowed myself to give up handling everything on my own and instead open to the guidance of loving friends and a growing connection with God. The benefits would happen over time, and yet it required a surrender beyond anything I had ever experienced. I realize that a profound letting go of what I had been holding on to be the key to the changes that I began to experience. I feel blessed by those that offered me support…and grateful that I accepted!
The experiences of loss or painful change may not be what we seek for. But they are an unavoidable part of life’s universal mystery. We are always releasing and grieving what has been…and simultaneously becoming a more authentic version of our True Selves. It never ends, this unfoldment. Paradoxically, we are provided limitless possibilities for healing, forgiveness, acceptance, peace, and freedom…newness of life.
Realizing that we all face into these events, big and small, allows us to see our common humanity and Divine Source…that we are One, and all in this together. In this we can experience hope, support and gratitude on our journey…and transform in ways unimaginable. – JR