I began this day feeling energized and bright…hopeful. Throughout the prior night the words of a past vision revisited me: ‘The Truth is true upon itself’. As the day began with feelings of lightness and excitement, I meditated and sank in to the phrase. I realized that what is True needs no defense, no argument, no support…no anything. It stands on its own, simple and present. And, in each moment what is present is what we are provided for, to be with and to celebrate. And, every moment brings with it a new energy of Truth…and so all there is to do is nothing; release all claims of the mind….allow, accept, and be in the flow.
For me this is happening within the space of relationship…actually, one that recently changed form, as in ‘breakup’. Perceptions lead to forms and conditions and I have a way of ‘undoing’ or sabotaging myself…perhaps as a way to uncover and reveal persisting self-limiting beliefs, fears and reactive patterns. All this opens a door to self-honesty, healing, and reconnection with Source…God. In it I stand in the possibility of a ‘happening’, for which this mind has no capacity to understand or to orchestrate, yet a knowing of healing and Divine transformation that resides within the rawness of the moment. God’s Love is present and rooting for us to awaken from the conditions which had One heart separate into two.
Love and fear travel together….right and wrong, wounds and reactivity, expansion and contraction, reality and illusion, truth and projection. And in this right now ‘chapter’ of existence, I notice that what I ‘hear’ and ‘feel’ through the lens of the past, is a recreation of the story that everyone will ultimately hurt and leave me, validating my worst beliefs about myself. It’s the proverbial self-fulfilling prophesy…that I am broken, unacceptable, and unwanted. These core beliefs are the roots from which my life has taken shape and unfolded. And from that place there is nowhere ‘fun’ to go…only to move through the hell of my own making. Not sounding so good, eh?
This brings me back to a vision of Jesus’ life and lessons found within them. Today I experienced an even deeper realization of his last day of life; that he was not submitting himself to the angry ‘crowd’ to take us off the hook for our ‘sins’ but rather he was submitting himself and all humanity to God as a demonstration of our own inherent capacity to release ourselves from the bondage of our own making. In it, he opened himself and received ‘confession’, the outpouring of all the fear and anguish of humanity, with the purpose of submitting it or turning it over to God. And as this occurred he opened to a simultaneous inflow of Divine Love, a True remembrance of Divine Essence…or as Jesus called the Kingdom of God. He did this, not to ‘save us’, but rather to teach us what we must also do in order to be freed of our self-created bondage.
So, the hurt, anger, fear, shame…and all the energies which have me divided internally, from others, and from God are one and the same. What happens inside me is reflected outward in to my life. And what is found in this heart/mind that manifests in relation to others is brought to the surface, not to validate a negative image of myself and others as right and true, but rather to provide an opportunity and choice to submit or turn these falsehoods over to God…and with it a transformation of all hearts and minds, not just mine.
In this is an allowing of all fearful energies to be just as they are while recognizing that of themselves, they are harmless, neutral, illusions. This process opens the Way to the remembrance and Knowing of who I am/ who we are and whose we are…a return to innocence, divine essence and nature…to Love. This is not personal…it is about all of us. This is the integration of the human and the divine.
As a practice:
I begin by noticing and feeling what is present and just allow the ‘blows’ of life’s circumstances to reach and trigger my core wounds, beliefs and reactive impulses. And as I allow these (very uncomfortable) energies to exist just as they are, that same experience as described in my vision can take place: an embrace of and submission to God…with an open heart and expectancy to the inflow of his Love. The divine meets me as I meet him! This is where the kingdom is found…where miracles are born.
In Conclusion:
From the Divine Voice which has spoken within my own heart: The truth is true upon itself. Release all claims, know that all things are neutral, harmless, do not place anyone or any thing before the Door or turn away….do not rush to fill the empty space, be still and rest and allow yourself to be held. God is Love! Consider that the anguish of the heart is its way of recognizing a missing and the longing to reconnect to Source…to God.
-JR